


On The Edge

by Error_still_here7



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara is healing, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Scars, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-11-01 16:44:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17870942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Error_still_here7/pseuds/Error_still_here7
Summary: Kara Danvers was kidnapped and tortured for nine months. When she returns, things are a bit different. She has to learn to adapt to her surroundings once again. Thankfully, she can rely on Lena to help her.OrKara Danvers is healing. There is some angst, but there is mostly fluff :3





	1. I'll Hold You Until I Die

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)  
> This is my first fic, so constructive feedback is highly appreciative.  
> I update whenever I can, but if someone could give me suggestions for what days I should update, go ahead.  
> I hope you enjoy this, but if you don't let me know.

_A deep chuckle resided deep from someone’s throat. The only light that was shown was a faint green glow, and the room was completely empty aside from the two people that resided there. There were no outside sounds. Only the breathing of said people._

_Suddenly, there was the sound of a whip being pulled taught in someone’s hands. Kara curled in more on herself from what she could._

_Her wrists and ankles were chained to the concrete wall that stood in front of her, and her face was as close as she could put it to that wall. Her hands were pinned apart above her head and her legs were spread a little beyond shoulder width. The cuffs glowed a slight green from the dosage of kryptonite that had been stored there specifically for her._

_She had been stripped bare aside from a thin hospital gown. They had taken her suit when they captured her, and they had left her naked in what seemed like a jail cell before throwing the piece of cloth at her._

_The whip lashed her harshly on the back and she slightly whimpered in pain. Kara shivered from the coldness of the room and the fear that ran through her body. Another blow landed just below her shoulder blades, causing her to gasp and bite her bottom lip between her teeth to try to stay quiet._

_She felt a strong hand grip the hair just above her neck and pull brutally, causing her chin to tip forward. Tears pooled at the corners of her eyes as another rough hand untied the back of the gown._

_“You’ll know not to disobey me,” The deep voice husked into her ear. She clenched her eyes shut as the hand released her now bloodsoaked hair. The gown was draped around her shoulders, exposing her bare back._

_A series of sharp quick blows made Kara whimper and gasp in her spot. Tears stained her cheeks and pain rippled through her body. She could feel the whipping all the way to her fingertips._

_There was clatter as the whip was thrown back to a table. A firm hand pressed against her back causing her to subconsciously arch her stomach into the wall. The hand laced every new line that had relished on her usually smooth skin._

_“Do you think we’re done?” Kara’s head fell forward at the words and her forehead was pressed tightly to the wall. Short but sharp fingernails dug into the small of her back making her wince. “I said, do you think we are done?”_

_“No, Sir.” Kara’s voice was foreign to her ears. It was low and gravelly and the blonde could hardly speak above a whisper from her screaming._

_“That’s right. Because we’re supposed to follow the rules.” There were sounds of metal on metal as he disappeared to find another object. Kara knew that he wore vision goggles so he could see her suffering and explore his utensils._

_She knew that he was clearly wicked and cruel, but she didn’t know why. That was one of many thoughts that mostly ran through her mind while she was here. Why?_

_A sharp cold object ran along her spine before retreating slightly. The knife came back and dragged across the markings he had created previously from his whipping. “Oh, Kara.” He tutted behind her as the knife was lightly scraped along her skin. The Kryptonian’s breaths were sharp and ragged in the anticipation of the blade._

_With a sharp thrust, the knife entered the delicate flesh near her left shoulder blade. She gasped and arched her back away from it, but the knife only followed. He moved the knife down her back, opening her skin cell by cell, going as slow as he possibly could. Kara began to scream out until a rugged hand covered her chapped lips, muffling her screams._

_“This is what you get. You should have died when your planet exploded, but here we are. You deserve this. You brought this upon yourself.” Tears streamed down Kara’s face as he made cut after cut, each one deeper than the last, and all of them starting on her shoulder blades or around them._

_After about 15 minutes of this, the knife was flung back to the table making a loud crash against the metal. Kara still couldn’t see anything around her, but she heard a door open and footsteps enter._

_Unyielding hands grabbed her wrists and jerked the cuffs off of her before dragging her limp body to her cell. The beaten girl began to scream and kick with what she had left in her._

_“No! No, no! Put me down!” Her voice got quieter as she continued, growing weaker with her struggles._

“Kara.”

_“No, please.” Her chin dipped to her chest and bobbed._

“Kara!”

_Her last words were a whimper as she choked, “please.”_

“KARA!” The voice snapped her awake from her recent dream. Kara jumped off of the bed and backed into the farthest wall. She curled into the corner with her knees tucked to her chest as she buried her face in her legs and started to whimper mercilessly. Her hands wrapped around her head and knees as she muttered and yelled.

“No, please. Please, Sir. I’ll be good, I promise. Please!” She began to sob into her knees, rocking herself back and forth. 

“Hey,” a gentle voice floated towards Kara. “It’s me, Kara. Come back to me.” Kara was hesitant before slowly peeking one eye above her arm. She barely saw the shape of a person crouching in front of her. At first, she ducked back down and continued her pleas, but she heard that soft voice again. “It’s alright. I’m here, baby. Come back to me.” Kara peeked her eyes again and saw the slight features of a woman’s face.

“Lena?” She whispered through tears. 

“Yes, baby. It’s Lena. You’re here in the apartment.” Lena wanted to reach out, to grab her hand, but she knew that it might not be a good idea. 

No matter how badly she wanted to hold Kara, to rock her back and forth, she knew that Kara was still fragile. She knew it might hurt her to even make slight contact. 

Kara pulled Lena down to her and hugged her tightly. The younger woman was surprised at first that the blonde even wanted physical contact, but she welcomed it nonetheless. Lena’s hand massaged Kara’s scalp and made soothing patterns through her hair as she whispered reassuring phrases to the blonde, holding her close to her chest.

“It’s alright, baby. Come back to me.” Kara’s head tucked further into the crook of Lena’s neck and she sobbed ruthlessly. Lena kept rocking with her even as she began to get sore from staying in the same position for so long.

“Lena,” Kara whimpered her girlfriend’s name and gripped her back just enough to hurt a human. She didn’t think about how hard she held onto Lena, she just needed to be held. She needed Lena.

The two girls sat in each other’s arms for over an hour as Kara’s sobs turned to silent tears, then to small whimpers. 

Neither of them wanted to leave. Kara only wanted Lena’s comfort, and Lena only wanted to comfort her. Lena never wanted to let her go after Kara had been captured. It tore her apart. Lena thought that Kara was dead. She thought that she was never going to see that amazing smile again. She thought that she would never see Kara’s daring blue eyes, so when Kara returned, she was determined to stay with her. 

Lena backed away and cupped Kara’s jaw into her hand. She looked at Kara with so many emotions in her eyes. “I’m here. I love you, Kara.” Kara couldn’t reply, she only nodded her head against Lena’s and pushed herself back to Lena’s embrace. 

“I’m going to put you back now, okay?” Kara nodded her response into Lena’s shoulder. Lena picked up Kara’s surprisingly heavyweight and carried her to the bed gently. The smaller woman crawled into the place next to her and wrapped her pale arms around Kara’s waist. The blonde melted into Lena’s touch and shivered. “It’s alright,” Lena whispered into her hair. “I’m here.”

~~~~~~~~~

“Lena?” The next day, Kara had curled up into Lena’s lap and was now looking up at her with her eyebrows furrowed. They had migrated to the couch after eating breakfast, and they were just enjoying each others company. 

Lena stroked her hair before answering. “Yes, darling?”

Kara hesitated, then whispered, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Lena’s hand froze in Kara’s hair for a second before she took a deep breath and replied. “Only if you want to, Kara.”

“I… I don’t know. I want to, but I’m scared.” Kara closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry. It - this is stupid.” Kara stood up and pushed herself away from Lena, trying to go somewhere, anywhere. She wanted Lena, but how could she say the things she wanted to without seeming needy or childish? 

Lena’s voice stopped her from moving much farther. It held so much understanding and love that it brought Kara down to Earth. “Hey, It’s alright. It isn’t stupid. You went through something very traumatic, and…” She trailed off and took a deep breath before replying. sometimes the best way to cope with that is to talk to someone. You can always talk to me, but I will never force you to do so. These things take time and patience. What you’re feeling isn’t stupid or silly. It’s okay to have those feelings, and sometimes it’s better to express them even if you aren’t sure how.” 

Kara slowly turned to Lena. Her usually shiny eyes were on the brink of tears, and her bottom lip quivered between her teeth. 

Lena continued to think about what exactly happened when Kara was gone. Of course, she had the file from the DEO explaining most of the things, but she never got explicit details. She never wanted to ask Kara, so she didn’t. Lena never forced her girlfriend to open up about the experience. She just wanted to know who could possibly bring the great Kara Danvers to a state like this. 

Lena stood and took a tentative toward Kara and slowly outstretched her arm towards the blonde. She waited for hesitation or resistance. When she saw none, she cupped Kara’s jaw and wiped a tear from her cheek.

“I love you, Kara.” Lena’s voice was sincere and her eyes spoke everything.

Kara saw entire galaxies in those green eyes. She saw everything that she loved, and she couldn’t hold back. She had missed Lena so much over the course of nine months.

Lena was one of the only reasons she survived, aside from Alex. She kept thinking about them when she considered giving up, but their warm smiles always stopped her. 

She embraced Lena and tucked her head into Lena’s shoulder, slouching slightly to match The shorter woman’s height.

Lena’s fingers threaded through the hair on Kara’s tender scalp while her other arm was tight around Kara’s waist, pulling her close.

Kara melted into the ravenette’s warmth. She released every emotion she could possibly hold into Lena as memories flooded her vision. Kara felt small inside of Lena’s arms, and she finally allowed herself to become small for a little bit, continuing to sob.

She would sputter out short phrases into Lena’s shoulder, but Lena still held her and reassured her. 

Lena held the mumbling Kryptonian until her sobs turned to sniffled whimpers and then Kara was only shivering in Lena’s touch. 

Did they stay like this for minutes? Hours? Neither of them knew. It just felt good to be together after nine months of Kara’s absence. It had only been three weeks since she had returned, but Lena made sure that she was with Kara every step of the way into recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)  
> What did you guys think?


	2. I Trust You with my Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara finally exposes part of her past with Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update :)  
> Be warned at the very beginning there are graphic descriptions of violence.  
> Also, I forgot to put into the first chapter that Kara has a stutter.

_The board under Kara’s back was stiff and uncomfortable. It had been somewhat tilted so that the Kryptonian’s head was towards the floor while her feet were positioned a little higher. Her arms were outstretched to either side of her by leather restraints around her wrists that cut off her circulation. Her ankles were facing the same treatment. There were multiple sources of kryptonite weighing down on her. Even the lights in the room had doses of the green substance and weakened her further._

_Kara tugged lightly on the restraints, testing their strength. She knew there was nothing she could do to escape. She had thought about her routes; where she would go, what she would do. Every situation that ran through her minded ended up putting her in a worse place than before._

_There was a cloth stuffed into her mouth that made her tongue and throat sting. The material had been tied around her head, not allowing her to speak._

_Suddenly, a piece of fabric was thrown onto her face. Gentle hands slightly re-adjusted it so it was laying flat across her features. She muffled something through the cloth in her mouth before she heard footsteps approaching her._

_“Hello, Kara. It’s nice to finally see you healed from our last session,” The deep voice sang excitedly, “I have so many plans for you, dear. But, they’ll have to wait. This isn’t torture, this is an interrogation.” Kara tried to say something, but the burning in her throat prevented her from doing so._

_She shook her head side to side trying to lose the cloth but a coldness stopped her. It came in the form of water, shocking the Kryptonian and making her shiver. The water came in floods for about 15 seconds, almost drowning Kara because of her open mouth. Once it came to a stop, Kara coughed and gasped, but whatever they had put on the cloth made her throat and mouth burn even more._

_“So I have a few questions if that’s alright.” The man started laughing hysterically, reveling in the fact that Kara couldn’t respond. He sighed and wiped a tear from underneath his eye before continuing. “Oh. That was great. Okay, back to business.” He motioned to one of the men controlling the water flow before taking a step backward._

_Coldness washed over Kara once more as the stream poured onto her face. She moved her head to the side, but she couldn’t escape the huge flow of water._

_Once more, the water stopped, leaving Kara gasping and wheezing for air that still didn’t travel to her lungs._

_“Kara, do you know where Lena Luthor is right now?”_

_Kara’s head shot up at the mention of her girlfriend’s name. She shook her head vigorously to the side making the cloth fall. The blonde stared at the man to her left causing a grin to form on his face. Kara attempted to speak until she finally spat the fabric out of her mouth._

_“What did you do to her?” Kara’s breathing was ragged and her rage was definitely shown through her tone. When the man didn’t answer her, she pulled at her restraints ruthlessly and yelled. “Where is she?!”_

_She looked toward him with what she hoped was an intimidating stare, but his smile only grew. “She’s completely fine, darling.”_

_He lifted his hand to show a tiny black box in his fingers. The man pressed a button and a screen flickered to life in front of the table._

_It showed Lena sitting behind her desk at L Corp. She was writing something on a sheet of paper that Kara could only assume was something work-related. The camera was positioned on the far side of her office, so Lena looked smaller from the view._

_“You bastard!” Kara screamed. She began to wildly pull at her restraints, but she was kept on the table with no release. “Don’t you dare hurt her!”_

_Another nod of the head from the man and more water was released onto Kara. Instead of stopping, Kara kept struggling through the water._

_Eventually, after two consecutive minutes of water being poured, Kara became weak and laid back. She sputtered and gasped like a fish needing water._

_As she kept coughing, the man sounded from behind her saying, “Even if you try to disobey me, I will always have ways to hurt you.”_

_Kara only mumbled a meek reply, pleading to him. “Please,” she rocked her head on the table, causing pain in the back of her skull before continuing, “don’t hurt her. I’ll do anything, but please don’t hurt Lena.”_

_Tears flushed down Kara’s cheeks as she pleaded with him. She couldn’t lose Lena. She would never be able to forgive herself if she lost Lena._

_The man took a step towards her before caressing her jaw with a rough, callused hand. “Oh, my sweet Kara. I won’t hurt her if you follow my rules.”_

_Kara looked into his hazel eyes and mentally pleaded with him. She didn’t speak or make any noise, only waited for him to talk._

_“You will address me as Sir.” He straightened and continued, “You will only speak when spoken to. You will not try to escape or defy me, or you will be punished. If the same mistake is made twice, I will hurt your precious Lena Luthor.”_

Kara bolted upright when she felt a hand on her shoulder. The hand instantly retreated from her, settling back on the sheets they were lying on. The blonde shot from the bed and started pacing next to it with her hands to her temples. 

“Lena. I have to get to her,” she muttered. Suddenly, she snapped her head back to the bed and began yelling. “Where’s Lena?!” She shouted towards the figure tangled in the sheets.

“Kara…” the woman in the bed gently tried to speak to her.

“No!” Kara ran at the bed and flung the sheets to the floor. Lena was taken aback as Kara yelled, “If you hurt her I’ll kill you! I won’t hesitate for a second! I will hunt you until I have destroyed every part of you!” Kara put her hands back to her head and began pulling at her hair in worry. She sank to her knees in sobs next to the mattress, still dedicated to finding Lena. 

She was so deep into her thoughts that she didn’t notice the figure next to her. “Kara, it’s me. It’s Lena, I’m right here.” Lena could see Kara’s flushed face in the dim lights. She was still beautiful no matter what. 

“Lena…” Kara stared intensely at the floor. She took in a battered breath before slightly turning her gaze to the woman next to her. “Lena?” 

“Yes, it’s me, baby. I’m here and I’m perfectly fine.” When Kara still didn’t look convinced, Lena continued, “See?” She held her hand towards Kara and rested it on her thigh. The pale woman then rolled up her sleeve and began showcasing her arm. “I’m alright. I’m here.”

Kara took her hands from her head and grabbed Lena’s arm roughly, her knuckles turning white. She took a ragged breath before finally meeting Lena’s eyes. 

“Lena,” She finally stated, as if she was assuring herself. 

“Yes,” Lena’s gentle voice repeated. 

Kara’s eyes widened before she toppled on top of Lena in a hug. The smaller woman was shocked, but she immediately hugged Kara back. 

“I love you so much. Did- Did they…” Kara mumbled through her sobs.

“No, baby. I’m alright,” She promised. Kara tucked her head into Lena’s shoulder and continued to sob. 

Her words varied from I love you so much and I’m so glad you’re safe all the way to, I’m gonna kill him. 

Lena continued to hold Kara through all of her tears; through all of her agony and trauma. 

Finally, it got to the point where Lena’s back hurt from laying on the ridged floor, so she decided to put her and Kara back into the bed.

Kara tucked into the crook of Lena’s neck while gentle tears flowed from her eyes. The smaller woman wrapped her arms around the blonde and held her the best she could. I’m never going to lose you again, She thought to herself.

 

The next morning, Lena had made breakfast and she and Kara were sitting at the island. The younger woman had made a lot of food. She had made bacon, pancakes, biscuits, toast, eggs (over easy and scrambled), and yogurt parfaits. 

Lena glanced to the woman next to her and noticed how little she had eaten. She had barely touched any of her food or her drink. Lena knew that she hadn’t eaten much for the past weeks, even with her full strength returning. Kara stared at her food, fork in hand. Her eyes were glazed like glass as she looked at the plate. 

Lena placed a hand on Kara’s back, but the blonde instantly tensed under the touch. She pulled her hand back to her food. She wanted to make sure Kara was okay, even if that meant she couldn’t initiate contact.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered. She was still tense from Lena’s touch and she sat unmoved. Her voice sounded fearful, and she looked petrified. 

“It’s alright.” Lena spun on her seat to face Kara. “You’re alright.” Lena outstretched her hand slightly and saw Kara spare an anxious glance to her arm. “Can I rub your back?”

Kara took a deep breath before slightly nodding her head. Lena ran her hand over the Kryptonian’s back. She noticed every piece of raised skin under Kara’s thin shirt. The blonde took another uneven breath and looked back to her food. Her breathing was slightly faster than normal, but Lena pursued. She took in everything she could feel on Kara’s back, even the things she didn’t think she wanted to know about. 

Under Kara’s white long-sleeve shirt there were scars crisscrossing her back. She had lines every way that The Uplifter could think to make. He tortured her in every way he could possibly think of. There were vertical scars from the knife being dragged down her skin, and there were scars from the whipping he commenced upon her. The worst scar she had, was the brand on her back. He had taken burning pieces of metal with the letters of his name onto the middle of her back. That was one of the first things he had done after her capture. 

Kara took dilapidated breaths under Lena’s intruding touch. She wanted to share everything that had happened with her girlfriend, but she was scared. No, scared was an understatement. She was terrified. Every sense of her body was still on survival mode. Every touch, loud noise, sudden movement, dark space, and even sharp objects heightened her. Usually, when people were heightened they were filled with adrenaline, but what Kara felt was different. It was as if every cell in her body was put into a shock and her self awareness doubled. She heard everything, felt everything, and saw everything. Every nerve in her body was spiked. She had learned to do this just from staying with The Uplifter. Kara hadn’t adapted to being back yet, she was still used to being in her prison. Being in survival mode was normal. It was daily. That was her life for nine months, and what she thought would be forever. 

Lena traced her delicate fingers over raised skin and angry marks that had not healed yet. Her fingertips brushed against lines with splotches of delicate flesh. Hands danced against tender skin and a decrepit person. 

The muscles in Kara’s body were on fire. Every touch electrocuted her system, bringing her eyelids to fall from the anticipation of pain. Her brain had been re-wired to instantly react like that. 

But Lena traced gentle patterns along Kara’s damaged skin and the blonde almost felt like she could relax. She almost felt like things were alright. She almost felt that she was safe. But she still didn’t. Her senses had lowered themselves under Lena’s soothing touch, but there was just enough to make her aware of herself. She still felt everything, but now everything was less intense. 

Lena removed her hand from Kara’s back and set it on the island. 

“Thank you, Kara. I know how hard this is for you.” Lena’s eyes were on the blonde, but they both sat unmoved. 

Kara took a shaky breath before saying, “I-I love you. I-I’m sorry I’ve b-been sensitive. I-I’m really t-trying to adapt.”

Lena tilted her head, trying to get a glimpse at Kara’s eyes. “It’s alright, honey. I’m so proud of you, Kara.”

There was a slight break in Kara’s demeanor as the ends of her lips curled slightly. It was far from a smile, but Lena knew this was a lot of progress. She hadn’t even so much as grinned in the weeks she had been back. 

“What do you want to do today, darling?” Lena asked gingerly.

“C-can we watch a m-movie?” Kara finally looked towards Lena. Lena could see the tenderness in Kara’s face. She almost looked ashamed, but it wasn’t quite that. She looked shy and gentle when she glanced at Lena. 

Lena nodded her head and asked, “Would you like some potstickers?” 

Kara looked down to her lap. “Please?” She asked meekly.

“Of course.” Lena stood and offered a hand to the blonde. Kara gently took it and they moved to the couch while Lena grabbed her phone.

They ordered potstickers and started watching The Princess Bride while cuddled together on the couch. 

“L-Lena?” Kara mumbled when they were about halfway through the movie.

“Yes, darling?”

“I want to show you.”

Lena was confused at first before realization struck her face. “Ah,” She said. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to go out of your comfort zone.”

Kara nodded her head and confirmed, “I-I want t-to.”

Lena nodded her head in approval and Kara pushed herself to a sitting position. She turned away until her back was facing Lena. 

Slowly, Kara peeled her shirt over her head and held it to her breasts. The sleeves still covered her arms, but she wasn’t ready to expose that much.  
Every new inch of skin Lena saw was worse than the last. Markings started at the top of her shoulders and ended at her lower back. Every inch of Kara’s skin had some sort of mark, whether it was a burn or something worse. But the worst case was directly in the middle of her back where she had branded his name. 

In bold, twisted letters it clearly said “The Uplifter”. Every mark around it would never compare to the scar He had left with his name. The skin there was white and raised. Lena couldn’t think of a word to describe how _horrid_ the sight was. 

Her eyes flashed with red as she continued looking at the scars He had left her. A reminder of what had happened. The edges of Lena’s vision began to tunnel slightly, and she was barely aware of her fists clenching and unclenching. She took in a battered breath and traced a gentle finger along the ridges of Kara’s scars. 

Kara tensed slightly but soon relaxed as Lena continued to trace patterns. Every muscle in Lena’s being was filled with rage. She pictured strangling him and watching the life leave his eyes. She imagined doing the very thing He did to Kara’s back. She hoped he’d like the reminder she left  _him._  

Lena took a deep breath and removed her hand from Kara's back. "You can put your shirt back on. darling," Lena said. She tried to stay calm for Kara, she  _really_ did, but every emotion was showing through her demeanor. She would never admit to it, of course, but you could see it clear as day.

Kara turned to face Lena once she had comfortably fit back into her shirt. "A-are you al-alright?" Kara asked meekly. 

Lena snapped out of her thoughts and faced Kara. "Of course, darling. Thank you for trusting me," Came Lena's reply as she returned to her calm demeanor. 

"A-are you s-sure?" Kara's brows were knitted together as she finally met Lena's eyes. 

"Yes. I promise." It had been a while since Kara had been back. You can't blame her for not being able to tell when her girlfriend was lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I said that I would update twice a week, but my week is going to be whack. I'll update when I have the chance then I'll get back to twice a week.  
> (What did you guys think?)


	3. I Won't Let This Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena pays a visit to Alex then she's back to Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :)  
> Sorry that this is a bit late. My week has been whack. I also didn't have much time to edit this; My apologies.  
> Fluff and some angst.

“Alex, you didn’t tell me it was this bad.” Lena glared at Alex with anger in those usually bright eyes. Right now, her eyes looked deadly. Every part of her being was enraged, her body trembling from anger. If looks could kill… 

“I didn’t think you’d want to know.” Alex looked down to the table where a beer rested in her hand. “Plus, I will not invade Kara’s privacy like that. She made me promise not to tell you because she knew you’d be upset.” Alex raised her head and matched Lena’s angry glare. 

“I understand, but the file on this case did not explain how… horrid her back looks!” Lena raised her hands and slapped them back to the table. The ravenette took a deep breath before continuing. “I want him found.” 

She stared a dead gaze at Alex. Every one of the emotions she had been trying so hard to fight shone through her eyes like crystals. Every bit of anger and sadness rose to her surface. 

Alex saw her eyes turn a dangerous shade of green as compared to their normal intensity. She had seen the CEO in action, even in the boardroom, but that was nothing compared to the look she had right at this moment. 

“We’re trying our best,” Alex started.

Lena’s fist raised and slammed onto the table, making it shake. “That isn’t good enough!” She raised her voice enough, but it wasn’t at full volume. “I want him found now! I want him dead!”

Alex raised her beer and slammed it on the table, but not with enough force to break it. “You think I don’t want that too?!” Alex pointed her index finger at Lena. “I want him found just as much as you do,” Alex’s face turned to stone as she returned to her calm demeanor, “and we are doing everything in our power to do that.”

Emotion shone like diamonds through her brown eyes. 

Lena looked to the table and relaxed her shoulders. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I never realized how bad it was.” Lena could feel tears at the back of her eyes that threatened to break through.

“I get it. Just be grateful that she trusted you enough to show you. I was the only one she allowed to do her medical examination and she still didn’t want me to see.” Alex sighed. “I’ve never seen her like this.” She shook her head and looked down before taking another swig of her beer. 

They both sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Lena piped up saying, “I should probably get home. I let Kara sleep on the couch.”

“Yeah, you should probably get back to her,” Alex whispered.

Lena headed to the doorway and opened the door. She turned around and said, “Thanks, Alex,” before leaving and clicking the door shut softly behind her.

Kara was still crashed on the couch when Lena finally got back to the apartment. Her driver had been generous enough to take her to Alex’s apartment and back on his day off. 

Lena stepped around the couch and looked at Kara. She had her knees tucked into her chest and her hands were supporting her head on the armrest. Even in her uncomfortable position, she appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Lena sat down onto the far end of the couch, careful not to disturb her sleeping girlfriend. 

Soon, Kara began to slightly stir in her slumber. Lena directed her gaze away from the computer she was working on to look at the slumbering Kryptonian. Her face was screwed up in pain and she was closing herself into a tight ball.

Lena looked up from her laptop. Kara’s face was scrunched up in pain, and her whole body appeared to be tense. Her muscles coiled and uncoiled in frustration as her nightmare took over her mind. 

Lena scooted a bit closer to the blonde’s feet. She began to run a soothing hand down Kara’s calf. Even when Kara was in distress, Lena still found it in her to see the beautiful parts of her girlfriend. The way her hair framed the feminine features of her face. She reveled in the way Kara’s nose scrunched in discomfort. It was probably weird for her to think of Kara as cute when she was in such a disheveled state, but goddammit she was just so beautiful. No, beautiful wasn’t the word. There wasn’t a word. Out of all of the things Lena had learned with her very expensive education, she couldn’t find a word to describe Kara. She was more than beautiful. More than gorgeous or amazing. More than anything the world could possibly describe in simple letters. 

Kara was just… more. She was more than kind and caring. She was more than brave and heroic. She was more than any language could even begin to describe. Kara was more than anything Lena had ever felt before. 

Kara drowsily lifted her head from the couch with a small yawn. “Hey, honey,” Lena greeted. Kara answered with a small wave of her hand. 

Lena thought about what to say for a moment. Should she have a normal conversation or should she tell Kara that she saw Alex? She didn’t want her girlfriend to stress even more, but she wanted to be honest. That was one of the biggest things between them: honesty. 

Kara sat up with her legs crisscrossed in front of her. Her fingers sat laced together in her lap. She looked worried or scared, Lena couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion in her features. Her eyebrows were knitted together and her eyes were icily glazed as she stared at a wall. Her fingers grabbed at each other in her lap. 

“What is it?” Lena asked delicately. She scooted a little closer to the blonde who ducked away at the sudden movement. Lena held her hands up gently and shifted back to her place. “Alright. I won’t come any closer. Can you tell me what’s on your mind?”

Kara turned her head away from Lena while her fingers continued their fidgeting. The blonde curled in on herself a little bit more. Her mind flashed with memories.

She usually had days like this. When she was nervous beyond control; when she was just waiting for someone to put her back in her place. Kara couldn’t place her feelings. She wanted to be happy, for Lena, but she didn’t know how to anymore. She had been gone for so long that she didn’t know what to feel or how to feel it. She wanted to be strong, but she felt broken. She needed to be pieced back together. 

Kara brought her hands to the back of her neck and bent forward. She took a few deep breaths before speaking. “I-I don’t kn-know,” Kara sputtered. “E-everyth-thing.” Kara’s breathing became ragged. Tears dotted at the corners of her eyes. Her chest felt as if it was going to explode and her head throbbed. Her throat tingled with all of the words she wanted to spill, but her mouth stood still. 

“Hey, it’s alright. Your feelings are valid, every part of them, but I need you to talk to me. Tell me what’s running through your mind.” 

Kara shuddered. “E-everything. I-it’s j-just t-too much-ch.” Kara covered her ears with her hands and groaned in pain. Tears flushed her cheeks. “L-Lena!” She said between groans.

In one swift movement, Lena scooted to Kara and pulled her into an embrace. She drew small circles on the blonde’s shoulder.

“L-Lena! I-it b-burns-s!” 

Lena sank to her knees by in front of Kara. “Hey.” Lena put a gentle hand on the Kryptonian’s chin and lifted her eyes to Lena. “It’s alright. I’m here. I’m here for you, okay?” 

Kara sat back against the couch with her hands still to her ears. Lena stood and sat next to her. She wrapped the blue-eyed woman in another hug. “I’m here for you, okay? I will never leave you.” 

Kara’s hands finally dropped to her face and her elbows tucked close to her head. Lena slung her arm over the blonde’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. “P-promise?” Kara whispered.

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive feedback appreciated :)  
> Sorry that this chapter was relatively short. As I said, my week has been whack.  
> Also, I'm thinking of writing one chapter short stories so if anyone has any prompts, hit me up in the comments.  
> Thanks for reading :3


	4. He's Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Lena's first day back at work. Is Kara going to be safe alone in Lena's apartment?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASHKHDAHKK Sorry in advance.  
> I thought this could use some angst :')  
> Also, I didn't have much time to edit, so I hope this is okay.

The next week went by evenly. Lena had inspired Kara to seek out a therapist about what had happened, and the blonde reluctantly agreed. The therapist had been very nice and gentle compared to most that Lena had seen in her childhood. 

Most days were the same. Lena made breakfast, they ate, Kara did some vocal exercises, and then they watched movies while Lena cleaned the apartment. 

But today was different. Today Lena went back to work while Kara was left home to do what she pleased. Of course, Lena had made a list of the things she could do or the places she could explore, but the CEO couldn’t help but feel anxious as she left. 

Kara sat on the couch with her legs crossed. “Are you sure you’re going to be alright without me?” Lena asked gently. She was standing at the doorway with her bag in one hand and her jacket slung over the other. 

“Y-yes,” Kara responded lightly.

“Who do you call if anything happens?”

“Y-you or A-Alex.”

“Yes. And if we aren’t able to reach you, which is highly unlikely, you can always call J’onn.”

“O-okay.” 

Lena nodded her head confidently. “And what do you do if you have a nightmare?”

“T-take deep b-breaths and t-try t-to relax.”

“Yes, and remember that it isn’t real. You’re here in the apartment.”

Kara nodded her head slightly while looking at her lap.

“If anything triggers you to a panic attack, I want you to call, okay? I don’t care if you think I’m busy, I want you to call me, alright?”

Kara nodded again.

“What time are you supposed to do your vocal exercises?”

“T-ten and t-two.”

“That’s right, and if you forget I’ve written you some reminders on the table, okay?”

Kara bobbed her head once more.

“There’s a list of things you can do if you get bored, and if you feel up to it, you can go the coffee shop by the apartment, okay? Just be careful.”

“O-okay.” Finally pleased, Lena walked back to the couch. She bent over and kissed the blonde’s forehead. “I love you. I’ll be back for lunch at noon.” Lena took another deep breath and walked back to the door. “Call if you need anything, okay?”

“I w-will. I l-love you.” 

Lena clicked the door softly behind her and started down the stairs to meet her driver. 

_God, I hope she’s going to be alright._

~~~~~~~~

There were no remarkable differences to Lena’s office as she arrived. The couch was lined with a covering of dust, but her table sat in the same place along with her chess set. 

After she had gotten the message that Kara was found, Lena had fled her office as fast as humanly possible. Her papers were left scattered and her alcohol sitting open on the counter. 

But it appeared that someone had come and cleaned a bit. All of her papers were neatly stacked on her desk, her expensive scotch was hidden away in the cabinet, but what stuck out most to Lena was the set of plumerias that sat on her table. They were a pearl white with a yellow tint circling from the center. 

She walked to the table and put her bag down on the white sofa. Lena sighed and sat down on the familiar couch. The CEO glanced at the flowers and noticed a white card atop them.

She delicately drew the card out where it was tangled and read what was written. The handwriting was short and choppy; Familiar almost. Was it? Had she seen it before?

Welcome back, Ms. Luthor

~The Uplifter

To say that Lena’s heart dropped would be an understatement. Her chest felt heavy. It felt like there was a hand gripping her heart and trying to suffocate her. The ice ran from her toes to the tips of her hair. Her face dropped. Her vision tunneled. Every part of her being became numb for three seconds before she began to rush into action.

She grabbed her phone and dialed. “Alex?”

_“Yeah, Lena. What’s up?”_

“Kara’s in trouble.”

Alex’s voice became panicked, _“What?”_

“I got flowers in my office today and there was a card sent with them. It had his name on it.” Lena rushed around her office, gathering her things before heading out the door.

_“Who? The Uplifter?”_

“Jess, hold my calls. If anyone comes, tell them I’m not available.” Lena rushed to the elevator. 

“Yes, Ms. Luthor!” Jess called after the CEO.

“Yes, Alex. The fucking Uplifter.” She clicked the floor level on the elevator before shooting her driver a quick text.

_“Where’s Kara?”_

Lena took a shaky breath. “She’s at home. I’m on my way now. It’ll take a genius to get into my apartment.”

_“He is a genius. I’m sending units there now.”_

Lena heard yelling in the background as she must have been calling for backup.

_“Look, I’m heading there. And Lena?”_

“Yes, Alex?”

_“Be careful.”_

~~~~~~~

Lena sprinted from the far and into the apartment complex.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Luthor. I thought you were going to be here-”

“My apologies, but I’m in a rush.” Lena jogged to the elevator and pressed the up button. “Come on, come on,” Lena muttered to herself. Finally, the doors opened and she slid inside. She pressed the button leading to her penthouse and shook her leg nervously while waiting. 

Once the door chimed, Lena ran out in a hurry. She quickly approached the door and found it open slightly. 

_Shit._

Lena slowly reached into her bag and grabbed the gun she had snagged from her desk at L Corp. She took a slow deep breath. 

Shoving the door open, she rushed in and pointed her gun in no specific direction. The sight she saw made her tremble.

“Hello, Ms. Luthor. It’s nice to finally meet you,” The man said, his manic grin widening. He had curly brown hair piled atop his head and traces of stubble on his chin. A white lab coat was positioned on top of his scrubs, but the sight that was unraveling was Kara.

The blonde sat on her knees with her legs tucked under her. Lena could see her veins were lit with green as kryptonite flowed from her body. Her chin was tightly tucked to her chest and her hair draped over her face, hiding her expression. The blondes’ wrists had been pinned behind her back with handcuffs, and there was a gun pointed to the top of her blonde curls.

Across the floor sat an empty syringe next to the Uplifter’s feet. There were a few drops of green liquid that had pooled under the needle. 

Lena’s face paled and she felt like her soul had left her body. It was like a rug had been pulled from under her where she stood. Her vision began to tunnel slightly and ringing sounded in her ears. 

Lena started to take a step forward before the man spoke again, “One more step and I’ll blow her brains out.” His smile dropped as he became serious. Lena stopped in her tracks.

“Great. Put the gun down,” He said, and his smile grew once more. 

Lena knew that there were no better alternatives. “Alright.” The CEO bent at the knees and placed the gun on the ground. Her voice was calm and collected as she regained her demeanor. “Will you let Kara go?”

The man let out a humorless laugh. “Why would I do that?” His eyes raked over Lena hungrily before turning his gaze back to the blonde at his feet. “Kara deserves this. She’s an alien; She doesn’t belong here. I thought of all people, a Luthor would understand my motives.” He paused and nudged Kara’s knee with his foot. “You deserve this, don’t you?” 

Kara whimpered a response and the man’s face grew purple with rage. “I said, you deserve this, don’t you?!” He put his foot on the back of Kara’s neck and forced her head to the ground. Her eyes pooled with tears and her face pressed sideways to the wooden floor. 

Kara let out a whimper and replied. “Y-yes, s-sir.” Tears escaped the blonde’s eyes. She began to whine as she started to break down. “L-Lena…” Her tears turned to sobs as she called her girlfriend’s name.

“Shut up, bitch!” The man’s face became sour once more as he dug his heel deeper into Kara’s neck. The blonde brought her lip between her teeth and bit until she tasted blood. 

“Now,” The man turned his gaze back to Lena, “kick the gun to me.” 

Lena took a deep breath. Should she? When was Alex going to get there? If she didn’t kick the gun, would he shoot Kara? It wasn’t worth the risk.

Lena kicked the gun towards him with the toe of her heels. “Do you really want to do this?” Lena asked.

“Of course. You can’t try to talk your way or her way out of this. She deserves it. Aliens can’t be trusted; She’s going to hurt people if I don’t hurt her. I won’t let her haunt this city, and I won’t stop until every alien-“

A shot rang out and the man fell to the floor. His gun skidded to a stop at Lena’s feet as blood started running out of his shoulder. The Uplifter’s mouth began to pool with his own blood as he sputtered and coughed.

Lena rushed to Kara’s side. She helped the blonde sit up and wiped the blood from her chin. “It’s alright, baby. I’m here.”

The man struggled to sit up slightly before speaking. “I’ll b-be back.” He coughed and blood splattered the floor. “Just you wait.” He coughed once more and spit a mouthful of blood in Kara’s direction. His eyes fluttered shut.

The door to Lena’s apartment slammed open against the wall as people in DEO gear rushed in, their guns pointed to the man that lay on the floor. 

One person bent over and checked the pulse of the curly haired man. “This is Vasquez; All is clear,” The feminine voice sounded. The agent - Vasquez - waved her hand at the people around her and they lowered their weapons. 

Alex burst through the open doorway with a pistol in hand. “Kara!” She rushed to her sister’s side and ran hands over her arms. “Are you hurt?” 

Kara continued to cry and whimper, unable to give a response. Her gaze was blank as she stared at the floor. 

“Hey, you’re alright. Vasquez! Check for handcuff keys!” 

The agent patted down the sides of the man until she found a pair of keys and tossed them to Alex. 

Alex caught them and brought them to the Kryptonian’s hands in one swift movement.

Kara slumped forward and Lena caught the blonde’s head in her hands. The CEO sat cross-legged with Kara’s head in her lap as she treaded her fingers through ragged hair.

“L-Lena…” Kara whimpered.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re alright.” She lifted the Kryptonian’s head in her hands and cupped her cheeks. “You’re okay. He’s gone. Nothing can hurt you now.”

Kara sobbed and collapsed back into Lena’s touch as Alex finally unlocked her cuffs. The blonde’s hands flew to Lena’s upper arms and she clung to her with all of the strength that she had. 

The ravenette wrapped her arms around Kara’s waist and pulled her into her lap. The blonde’s knees tucked to her chin as she held the collar of Lena’s shirt. The CEO put one hand around Kara’s back and one around her shaking knees as she rocked her back and forth. 

Alex sat back and observed the scene as the agents around her loaded the body out of the apartment. 

“Alex!” Maggie rushed to her side. “I heard what happened. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Alex stood and put her gun into its holster. 

Maggie looked to the pair on the floor. “Is little Danvers okay?” 

Alex sighed. “I think she’ll be okay.” The redhead looked back to the couple that sat on the ground. “I hope she’ll be okay.”

“Little Danvers is strong, just like her sister. She’ll get through it.” Maggie wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulders and pulled her closer. 

“I hope so.”

~~~~~~~

Kara lay asleep under a sun bed as Lena observed from behind the glass. 

Alex put a gentle hand on the CEO’s back. “She’s gonna be okay, Lena.”

Lena sighed. “Physically? Yes, but what about psychologically?” 

Alex’s head dropped and she took a deep breath. “I… I’m not sure, but I know Kara. She can push through it.” 

Will she? Will she ever push through this much?  
“I hope so.” Lena put a hand on the glass and put her head down. “I just… I just love her so much, Alex. I try to hide it because I have to be strong, but this is so hard to handle and sometimes I just feel like I can’t keep seeing her like this.” She rested her forehead on the glass as tears threatened to fall. 

Alex moved closer to the CEO. “Hey,” Lena looked back to brown eyes. “It’s gonna be okay. Kara is brave and strong; She’s gonna push through it. We’re all here to help her, and we’re here to help you. I understand where you’re coming from. I’m always here.” The redhead patted Lena on the back reassuringly. 

Kara began to stir in her spot. “We better get in there.”

Lena pushed the door open and walked slowly to Kara’s side. She sat in the chair beside the blonde and laid a gentle hand on her wrist. 

Kara shot up from her sleep at the touch and scrambled off of her bed. She scattered to the wall next to her and tucked her knees to her chest. The blonde gripped her hair with force as she rocked back and forth and muttering to herself. 

Lena kneeled next to her and put a hand on Kara’s knee. “Hey, Hey. You’re alright. You’re at the DEO.”

“H-he’s here.” 

Lena looked at her with a bemused expression. “No, honey. He’s gone for good this time.” 

Kara shook her head vigorously. “N-not him. T-the m-man with th-the scar.” Kara looked straight into Lena’s eyes.

For the first time she had gotten back, Lena was scared of Kara. The blonde’s expression was uncertain and blank while her eyes swam with too many emotions to count. Her eyes were no longer colored their usual shade of blue. Instead, they had been replaced with sharp gold rings. 

“Kara?” Lena’s eyes became worried as she stared at her girlfriend. 

“Lena, he’s coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'M sOrRy  
> Please don't kill me.  
> Should I do more one-shots?


	5. You'll Figure it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been another month since the incident at the DEO, and Kara gets frustrated when sparring with Alex for the first time since her escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update. I've been having a bit of writer's block from the couple of panic attacks that I had.  
> This chapter isn't edited, so my apologies for mistakes.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

_Kara woke up cold. Her hands had been chained behind her, and the chains had been attached to the wall. Her shoulders ached, and her body screamed at her._

_Get out of there._

_Every muscle, tendon, and vein scolded her for how they were being treated._

_Her throat constricted around nothing as her thirst grew. Taking even one breath painfully beckoned her mouth. She could feel something on her tongue that burnt like sandpaper, and it contributed to her ragged breaths._

_Her senses had been cut from the amount of kryptonite in the room. She couldn’t hear the outside. All she could hear was the dripping of water every few seconds coming from somewhere in the room. Everything was dark, but she could feel someone. She felt someone in the corner of the room watching her, scandalizing her._

_Kara heard the sound of boots on concrete as the figure walked towards her. The blonde threw her head around vigorously, trying to see what it was that was moving. Her eyes stared straight ahead as a hand grazed her chin._

_She jerked away roughly, but she was soon caught by another hand on the other side of her. The hands gripped her head roughly and forced her to look straight forward. She was still unable to see in the darkness, but she could smell the presence. He smelled of dried blood and metal, but there was something else there. Kara couldn’t quite depict it. Citrus? Flowers? The smell was pleasant compared to his original scent, but it was washed away as quickly as it was found._

_Kara could feel breathing on her face. The person’s breath was hot, and the breath was up close._

_Once again, the Kryptonian tried to sweep her head away, but her face was roughly brought back to its original position._

_“Stop struggling,” A deep voice breathed. His voice was masculine, and it reminded Kara of J’onn but much, much worse._

_Kara muffled something into whatever was stuffed in her mouth. She pulled her head again, and she pulled at the chains restricting her hands. The hands gripped her tighter and ran a finger along her jawline._

_The touch was almost soothing, but the hands were also rough and demanding. Lena had always traced patterns on her jawline as they fell asleep or in the mornings when they woke up next to each other. Now, that touch had been invaded. Every part of Kara screamed at him to stop, to leave her alone._

_Lena._

_The blonde missed Lena’s touch, and this was almost like it. But it wasn’t Lena. Lena’s touch was soft and gentle, but this touch was grinding._

_He raised her chin with his grip and trailed a warm finger down her throat until it reached the collar of her hospital gown. Kara shuddered at his touch. The hand disappeared then lightly brushed a stray piece of hair behind the blonde’s ear. Her breathing became disorganized as his fingers traced the features in her face._

_The Kryptonian was quivering by the time he finally stopped. He pulled his hands away from her and walked away, his footsteps echoing in the room. Kara yanked at her restraints while her screams were muffled. The walking stopped, and Kara stopped struggling for a moment._

_“What do you want?” The man spoke. Kara thought about that. What did she want? Lena; Alex; Maggie. She wanted out. She wanted her torture to end. She just wanted everything to stop. She took a breath to reply, but the man spoke. “It has to something I can offer you from in here. That means no family and no offers of escape. Do you have your request?” Kara nodded hesitantly as she heard footsteps walking back towards her. The rough material left her mouth._

_“I… I want to see you.”_

_“Very well.” The man stepped back, and Kara heard a small click as lights swept the room. At first, they were bright, and they blinded the blonde for a moment before her eyes adjust._

_A man stood in front of her with his hands behind his back. His blonde hair hung over his eyes, and he was well shaven. His clothing looked expensive, but there had been procedures that reduced him to almost look gothic. He was wearing a suit and tie, but the sleeves had been torn or cut off, revealing his tan, sculpted arms. Rather than dress pants, he wore dark, ripped jeans with a pair of black combat boots. His face was long, and his jawline was sharp while his blue eyes pierced Kara’s. There was a wicked scar that ran straightly from his eyebrow to his cheekbones._

_Kara’s mouth gaped at him. “I… Wh-who are you?” She stammered._

_“Ah, ah.” He brought up his index finger and waggled it back and forth. “You got your request, now it’s time to go back.” He walked towards her and she began to whimper helplessly._

_“N-no. Plea-se.” Kara shuddered and curled in on herself. The man ignored her and stuffed the rough material back into her mouth. His steps echoed as the lights in the room went dark once more._

Kara sat straight up in her bed, her skin burning with unwanted sweat. The sheets stuck to her warm flesh as she hit the headboard of the bed. 

“L-Lena?” She whimpered into the darkness. Everything around her had become black, and she was panicky once again. She tucked her knees to her chest and began to rock.

“Lena?” She called again, this time a little louder. 

A small lamp turned on in the corner of the room. Kara shied away from it and cowered in on herself more. 

“Hey, hey. You’re alright.” Kara felt a small hand on the top of her knee. She tensed but leaned into it. The blonde began taking deep breaths, remembering what Lena and Alex had told her. 

_Take deep breaths, Kara. Try to relax._

Lena shifted to sit on the side of the bed as Kara slowly unraveled her body. She slowly stretched her legs and arms as Lena positioned herself next to Kara. A hand snaked its way around Kara’s waist as the pale woman pulled her closer. 

“Sleep, darling,” Lena whispered. Kara relaxed in her grip and allowed herself to calm down just a bit. She exhaled one more time through her mouth before attempting to sleep. 

“Lena?” 

“Yes, honey?”

“I c-can’t sleep.” Everything was in her mind. The darkness, the sounds, the feelings of loneliness. The feeling of isolation was unbearable, even if Lena was with her the entire time. Her thoughts swam around in her brain like fish in a tiny bowl. Even when they have nowhere to go, they keep swimming. “E-everything-g just f-feels f-fuzzy. It- It’s just t-too much.”

“It’s alright, hun. Just listen to my heartbeat.” Lena positioned Kara’s ear on the left side of her chest. “I know that it’s a lot, but just listen to my heartbeat. Focus on me.”  


Kara tried to do what Lena said, she really did. She took deep breaths, and she tried relaxing her muscles. But, the thoughts just invaded. Everything was going to turn around. Someone was going to come for her. That man was going to come for her. The man with the jagged scar on his face was going to take her away. Lena was going to be taken from her again. And Alex, oh Rao, she couldn’t lose them again. She couldn’t lose them, she couldn’t-

“Kara, I know you. I see the wheels turning in your head. You’re okay, and you’re safe with me. I’m not letting anyone take you again.” Kara took a deep breath, and her body started to shiver. She wanted to believe Lena, but there was still that nagging feeling. Maybe that nagging feeling would always be there. Maybe she would always feel scared and vulnerable. Maybe this was just her. 

“Lena?” 

“Hmm?” Lena hummed her response.

“Who am I?” That was a big question. Maybe she shouldn’t have said it, but if anyone knew who she was, it would be Lena Luthor. Their differences were humungous, but the two fit together like a puzzle. They see the little things in each other. They don’t focus on huge romantic dates or dinners, it’s the little coffees they share and the way Lena crinkles her nose when she laughs. It was  _those_ moments that led to Kara falling in love with Lena. So, if there was anyone who knew who Kare really was, it would be Lena. 

“Who do you want to be?” Lena paused. “I can tell you a million things about yourself, but none of that matters if you aren’t aware of who you want to be.”

Well. That wasn’t what Kara was expecting. Who does she want to be? 

“I-I don’t think I kn-know yet,” Kara admitted. 

“And that is perfectly okay, darling. Sometimes, I don’t know who I am. I will be here for you when you figure it out, and I’ll help you along the way.” Kara exhaled at the response. She finally relaxed into Lena’s embrace and closed her eyes.

~~~~~~~

Kara paced in the DEO sparring room. Sweat clung to her body in fat droplets. They fell to the mat beneath her feet as she paced with her hands by her face defensively. The red sun lamps in the room had returned her to a human level.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Alex paced right beyond her in her fighting stance.

Kara nodded in confidence the lunged at Alex. She threw a punch to the redhead’s face, but she was quickly blocked by her sister. Alex spun low and kicked Kara’s feet out from under her. She fell to the floor with a thud as she gasped for air. Alex was quickly there with an outstretched hand to help her up. 

“Are you alright?” Kara’s vision began to slightly blur as she glanced at the redhead. Her breathing came in ragged breaths, but the wind had only been knocked out of her. 

Kara frantically nodded. “J-just… out… o-of… breath,” The blonde panted. Kara grabbed Alex’s hand and helped herself up. 

“Are you sure you wanna keep going?” Alex’s face became worried. 

The blonde returned to her position. “Yeah.”

“Alright…” Kara lunged at her sister again, but she was quickly thrown aside by Alex’s defense. Kara looked at the redhead from her position on the mat and huffed. 

“W-why c-can’t I d-do this?!” Kara shot up from her position and started to stomp around the mat angrily. 

Alex held her hands up and took a step towards her. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. You can’t expect to be back to normal when you’ve only been back for two months.”

“But I should b-be!” Kara threw her hands in the air and flopped them back to her sides. “I sh-shouldn’t h-have a st-stutter! I-I’m S-Supergirl! I-I’m s-supposed t-to b-be strong a-and brave!” The Kryptonian grunted in frustration. “Ugh! S-stupi-id s-stutter!” She punched the wall with a tight fist. 

She shouldn’t be like this. She should be better for Lena, Alex, Maggie, Eliza. She should be okay. So why wasn’t she? Would she be like this forever? Why couldn’t she do something she’s done a million times.

Her hands clenched and unclenched by her side as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She heard Alex flick the sun lamps off and padded over to her. Two gentle hands were placed on her shoulders, and she shuddered. Sobs erupted from her as she slid to her knees. Alex wrapped her hands around Kara’s waist and pulled her closer. The redhead stroked her hair and rocked her back and forth. 

“I love you, Kara. You’ll figure it out.”

Kara only sobbed harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought! Give me an honest opinion, but also give constructive feedback.  
> Thanks for reading, and sorry for the short chapter.


	6. I Still Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara snuggle.

_The first thing that she recognized was the hands. They were rough and calloused, yet they were almost sweet and soothing. Kara kicked herself for thinking like this. She had to get out. She had to escape._

_She muffled something into her gag and tugged at her restraints._

_Really? They had to keep her restrained every single moment she was there?_

_Of course, they did. These people were not sweet and caring. They were evil and cruel. No amount of justice would do them any good. They were already gone._

_“Nice to see you again, Kara. Would you like to know a fact?”_

_Kara sighed in relief that it was only Julian who had come to see her. Some of the tension released in her shoulders, and she sagged slightly. Kara knew that Julian was usually kind to her. Even if he left her restrained and gagged, he always seemed to slightly lighten her mood. It was much better than The Uplifter._

_Kara drowsily nodded and he continued. “Dassletuffs have a certain chemical in their eyes that allow them vision in darkness. If you scare them, that same chemical can rush through their eyes and hit you, giving humans a third-degree burn.”_

_That was all she got. Every single day the man came in, gave her a fact, a wish, and then he left her in the darkness again. It was better than being tortured, at least._

_Kara hummed in acknowledgment._

_“It’s actually very neat to see up close. The chemical can also affect certain aliens as well.” Kara lifted her eyebrows and nodded her head wearily. You can’t blame her. After everything she had been through, who wouldn’t be tired?_

_“Do you know what your request for the day is?” Everything was still dark, but Kara could hear him take a step towards him._

_She hesitated before nodding. He removed the cloth from her mouth and stepped back._

_“Can_ you s _-see if A-Alex is d-doing alright?” Kara’s voice was meek and scared, but she managed to get the question out._

_The man hummed. “I’ll see what I can do.” He took a step forward. “I have to go now, Kara. I’ll be back soon.”_

_“No, p-please don’t go. P-please.” Kara began to tug on her restraints and whimper helplessly._

_The man stopped her with a finger to her lips. “It’s okay. Shh, it’s alright.” Kara relaxed before a gag was put gently back into her mouth. “I’ll be back.”_

Kara’s eyes shot open, and she felt a warm body on her back. She relaxed, realizing it was only Lena. 

“Lena?” Kara whispered. 

Lena stirred on the other side of her. “Hmm?” She mumbled.

Kara exhaled a breath in relief that Lena was still there. That she wasn’t gone. 

“I love y-you.”

Lena snuggled closer to her girlfriend and nuzzled her chin into soft blonde locks. “I love you too, darling.” 

At that moment, Kara stopped worrying. She stopped thinking about The Uplifter and Julian. She stopped thinking about losing Lena and Alex. The sounds around her dulled to a slight hum, and all she could focus on was Lena’s heartbeat. She felt Lena’s arms around her waist. She felt the warmth that enveloped her body and the thumping of Lena’s heart.

She sighed and moved closer to Lena. “I love you so much.” 

Everything faded except Lena. She didn’t have to worry. She was safe. She knew that she was safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?


	7. I'm Still Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Lena go on a fancy date, but little do they know that someone is following them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. It's been a while since I've updated, but I hope you like this chapter.

Kara paced around her room. She was trying to pick out the right outfit for her dinner with Lena. The blonde had been fretting over it for the last 20 minutes. Alex laid easily on Kara’s bed with her feet outstretched to the floor. 

“Kara, whatever you wear, Lena will think you’re beautiful. She’s still head over heels for you,” Alex commented. 

“I’m sorry! I just want everything t-to be perfect!” Kara groaned, putting her hands to her hair.

“Kara, you’re going to be fine.” Alex sat up and looked at her sister seriously. “Lena loves you. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have asked you to dinner,” She pointed out sternly. Alex walked to the blonde and put her hands on Kara’s shoulders. “Look at me.”

Kara put her hands down and looked at the redhead. Her bottom lip quivered, and Alex sighed as she said, “Kara. This feeling you’re having, it’s completely normal.” The redhead shook her head ruefully. “I had the same feelings when I had my first date with Maggie.”

“This is normal?” Kara asked meekly.

Alex nodded. “Yes, Kara. This is normal. This is the first proper date you’ve been on with Lena since…”

Kara nodded vigorously. “You’re right.” The blonde took a deep breath and continued, saying, “Yeah, yeah. You’re a-absolutely right.” 

“I know, Kara. I’m always right.” Alex’s lips turned into a smirk.

Kara rolled her eyes. 

“Either way, you need to pick something, and we need to leave,” Alex declared. 

 

In the end, Kara had chosen a blue long-sleeved dress that hugged her waist to show off her curves yet flowed down her legs. She fixed her hair into a side ponytail that dropped freely over her shoulder. 

Kara carefully walked out of her apartment complex to where Lena was waiting by her car. The CEO wore a tight crimson dress that stopped mid thigh. Her hair was down, wavy black strands flowing down her shoulders and her back. She wore black heels that strap around the ankle and toe but expose the other parts of her feet.

Lena took a step forward and embraced Kara with a light kiss.

_ Click. _

“Are you ready, Kara?”

Kara looked around and fidgeted with her fingers. 

Lena ducked down to meet her girlfriend’s eyes. She placed her arms on Kara’s shoulders and said, “Hey. It’s okay, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Kara shot her head up. “N-no! It isn’t that. I’m just nervous… about i-impressing you.” 

Lena scoffed but paused when she realized that the blonde was being serious. “Oh,” she started, not knowing what else to say. “It’s alright, Kara. You never have to worry about impressing me. You are the light of my life. You impress me every single day. I love you.” Lena ended with a small smile as Kara’s lips tugged upward. 

“I love you too.” Kara placed a delicate kiss on the brunette’s lips. “We should g-get going.” 

_ Shutter. Click. _

Kara looked around, trying to see where the noise was coming from and what it was, but she couldn’t see anything. 

“Of course, dear.” Lena smiled and opened the back door to the car. She held out her arm. “After you, darling,” She commented slyly.

Kara carefully slid into the vehicle with Lena following after her. 

Eventually, they arrived at a restaurant that had windows from floor to ceiling. The place was made of white brick with red awnings that looked almost vintage but with a modern twist to it. Above the awnings were light fixtures that shone dimly.

“This looks expensive,” Kara noted. 

“Don’t worry, darling. It was nothing out of my price range,” Lena responded with a sly smile. 

They slipped out of the car and interlaced their fingers while walking into the restaurant. 

_ Shutter. Click. _

Kara looked around again, but when she saw nothing, she continued walking. The lobby itself looked a bit more modern. The seats for waiting were soft like they had been worn in, but they looked brand new. All of the walls were white and covered in aesthetic pictures and paintings. 

Lena stepped towards the podium. “I have a reservation.” 

“Name?” The lady standing behind the podium asked. 

“Lena. Lena Luthor.” 

The lady looked up in surprise. Her red hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, and it shook as her head raised. “Oh, Ms. Luthor! I’m so sorry, I-” The girl began to stammer until Lena held up a single hand.

“It’s alright. Is our table ready?” The CEO put on a small smile.

“Yes, Ms. Luthor. Right this way.” The redhead grabbed two menus and started walking as Lena and Kara followed. They walked up a flight of stairs and to an open area where a few empty tables sat. 

Kara gasped as she took in the sight. The walls were made of glass that had no smudges or any sort of dirt. Looking through them, you could see everything. They had a perfect view of the sunset as it started to lay below the buildings. The floor was made of modern wood, and there were a few empty tables spread around the area. Each table had an off white cloth and roses set in a clear vase.

“Any table you’d like, Ms. Luthor,” The redhead mentioned.

Lena nodded. “Thank you.” She walked over to the table in the center of the room as Kara followed her. Lena pulled out a chair. 

_ Shutter. Click. _

“After you, darling,” The CEO said with a smile. 

Kara sat down nervously as the redhead put down the menus. Kara carefully read her name tag.  _ Karyn.  _ Lena sat down across from her. 

“Lena, you didn’t have t-to do all this,” Kara said as she continued looking around. 

Lena waved a hand aimlessly. “It was nothing, honey.”

Karyn walked away from them and back down the stairs as a man walked up. He had short brown hair that was styled to perfection. “Good evening, my name is Johnson, and I’ll be serving you tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?”

Lena looked at him. “I’ll have water,” She stated. Kara stared at the table. 

“And you, ma’am?” Johnson turned to Kara. 

Kara shakily exhaled.  _ Breathe. Relax.  _ “Water,” She muttered. “I’ll have water.”

_ Shutter. Click. _

“Perfect. Ms. Luthor, would you be interested in red or white wine this evening?” The waiter held up two bottles.

“We’ll have red, thank you.” 

The man nodded as he poured wine from one of the bottles into Lena’s glass. “I’ll be right out with your water,” He said before he turned on his heel and left. 

Kara’s eyes were still directed on the table in front of her as she fidgeted lightly with her fingers. Lena extended her hand and placed in on top of Kara’s. The blonde looked up, startled. “Are you alright, darling?” 

Kara nodded slightly.

_ Shutter. Click. _

“Can you use your words for me, sweetie?”

Kara took a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Lena smiled. “Thank you. Is there something on your mind?” 

“It’s just that, this place is so n-nice. And public. It’s a little n-nerve-wracking.” Kara looked back down.

Lena smiled slightly. “Hey. You deserve this. I did this for us. Don’t think that you don’t deserve this as much as anyone else. I love you.” 

Kara nodded to herself. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Lena’s smile increases into a playful smirk. “I know, dear.” Kara smiled in return.

They ate quietly once their food had arrived. They both commented about how wonderful the food was, and Lena even suggested that she was going to leave the waiter a stellar tip. After they had finished, they left the restaurant with their hands together. 

_ Shutter. Click.  _

Kara’s head turned. She peeked over the rim of her glasses to use her X-ray vision, and that’s when she finally saw it. A man crouched behind the bushes around the restaurant, holding a camera with a baseball cap on his head.

And a scar down his face.

_ Shutter. Click. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. I decided that I wanted to continue this story even though I have no idea where it's going.


End file.
